That One Day When I Got The Picture

A good friend of mine sent me a picture of a soldier who had lost his legs in combat. He was trying to help me gain perspective on my new diagnosis, so I wouldn’t be down. I get it. I get that having no legs definitely makes for a difficult journey, but MS is something different in and of itself. MS infiltrates your body causing it to annihilate itself, progressing to permanent disability.
As much as I would like to “push past the pain”, “work through it” and “stay strong and positive” the fatigue, numbness and pain of MS does not allow much space for those philosophies in my life. I want to be Strong Girl again (complete with the “S” on my chest). To feel like nothing is impossible for me to accomplish. I long to feel the power of the phrase “I got this”.  My new reality has taken this power from me. My Strong Girl “S” is now an “M” for maybe, if I’m not too tired. The impossibilities sometimes feel insurmountable. The only thing I feel like “I got” is a big pile of ever changing symptoms of MS.

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