That One Day When I Didn’t Let MS Win

There it is. My feet greet me every morning with burning, icy, prickly heated numbness. Just a friendly reminder that Multiple Sclerosis is alive and well and ready to wreak havoc on my day. It is the nature of this disease. The wreaking of the havoc. It is different every day, but ironically, the same.
I ease myself from my bed to find out if the only trip I will be taking today is the one to the bathroom. There are days when MS gives me a break. The numbness is there, but it allows me to move about the house and sometimes even drive to the store! Today is one of those days. Thank you, Ezzie! Esmeralda is what I named my MS. On good days, I refer to her as Ezzie.
Ezzie allows me to walk to the kitchen without my cane. I happily make the coffee (tra la la!), and cut a slice of delicious Turtle cake. I have Turtle cake for breakfast because I can. Yummy chocolate, caramelly caramel, walnuts, more chocolate and Ezzie is kept at bay. We will be friends today.
I usually drink black coffee, but this morning, I add Crème Brulee creamer. Oh yum! I go back to my room and contemplate my English assignment, but decide to watch Hulu. And blog.
I keep a wooden kebob skewer next to my bed to occasionally check my numbness level. I think my body has gotten used to being numb. I thought that I would feel every poke, but, as I stab myself (gently) in random areas, there is no feeling. I can tell I am being touched, but there is no pain sensation. MS is so weird and just when you think you’ve figured it out, it throws a curve ball.
It is Multiple Sclerosis awareness month, but I am aware of it every day. When March ends, MS will still be my reality. I am truly becoming aware, though, of the blessing of having this thing. Life takes on new meaning when you receive a diagnosis that you cannot control. I am learning that Esmeralda can decide how I function, but not IF I do. This day, MS does not win.


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