That One Day When I Found…Me

I’ve never wanted to be lumped into any particular category. As a child, I had not put words to this feeling, but Lord, it made me a target, and caused a lot of misery. I never fit in, but the older I got, I used it to my advantage. I realized that what makes me different is the strength of who I am, and it wasn’t a bad thing! I became more confident in my “sticking out-ness” and started to embrace it. I laughed at myself before anyone else had the chance, and found that I had inherited my family’s comedic gene.
For so long, I felt like a bad person because I didn’t think like everyone else, but finally shedding the ties that bind, I found that God created me that way, and He created me that way for a purpose. A purpose that I am yet discovering, but at the same time, fulfilling by just breathing.
I think maybe that ‘different thing’ has rubbed off onto my children. I taught them not to conform to society’s standards. “You don’t have to do a certain thing at a certain age”, I advised. “Taste life and all it has to offer!”, I enthused. Boy, are they tasting! Sometimes I am afraid, but most of the time, knowing they are well-equipped, I tell myself, when they get it, it will be for life. You can teach and prod and encourage, but until they see it for themselves, it is dead letter. I’m ok with that. They are such amazing people and have so much to offer the world.
The world is too big and life is too long not to experience as much of it as possible! The beauty is, it will never be perfect. Regardless of the path you take in life, perfection is unattainable. And I’m glad. Striving to live is so much better than striving just to die. When I look back on my life, I do not want to wish I had done more. I do not want to wish I had done things differently. If I taste enough life and make enough mistakes—and learn from them, I will leave this life satisfied.
This is what I want for my children. Taste. Leave satisfied.

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3 thoughts on “That One Day When I Found…Me

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  1. “He created me that way for a purpose. A purpose that I am yet discovering, but at the same time, fulfilling by just breathing.” That was good stuff, Erica. Keep writing. Talk soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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